AI 3. Five left. Fee Fi Ho Hum: Big Band Night

Fee Five Ho Hum: Big Band Night

I covered last week's results at the end of last week's article about Salsa.

It seems a real shame that Data Stevens couldn't be here for his favorite genre. A real shame.

Introductory BleeBlah.  That reel they showed of the real big band sound made me wish we weren't about to be subjected to our usual shlock. But who knows? Maybe a miracle will happen.

The in-house band isn't bad; they definitely sound like they're ready for late late late night. Hubby is setting up Castlevania to get him through the hour. "They should have played something everybody knows," he says. What, so that we could know what song was being butchered? And maybe that explains why they chose the songs they did.

We're told each contestant gets to do two songs apiece. Oh goody.

Diana DeGarmo has the first spot tonight and starts with “Someone to Watch Over Me.” She's in a silky-looking blue dress with white doilies at the neckline and a white line of trim around where her waist would be if she had a waist. I love Diana's singing, but who is doing her wardrobe? Why are these outfits being chosen that highlight her worst features? As someone said elsewhere, she looks like a plump (albeit faded) blueberry.

I'll say this for the dress: it isn't as bad as last week, but it does look tight on her.

Now, I said I like her voice, but this song isn’t a good choice. It was better on Red Dwarf when Rimmer did it. Of course, that's purely subjective and because I don't really like the song.  It's okay as a performance but she isn’t wowing me with this. And she’s one of my two favorites.

Between songs, Diana tells us she sang that one for her brother and all the veterans who watch over us. That seems kind of hokey, but maybe it appeals to her countrymen.  And now it’s time to get everyone up with “Forget Your Troubles, Get Happy.” I hate this song. She’s doing okay with it but I still hate it. Hubby thinks she’s trying to do Minelli. Like she’s the illegitimate grand-daughter or something.

She gets props from Randy, with Paula agreeing. Simon makes it clear he didn’t choose the dress. He thinks the music genre is her style. Wha?  But he's not pleased with a 16 year old sounding like a 50 year old. He says she’s an old soul and she’ll take that.

George Huff does “Heaven, I’m in Heaven” and he’s in a dark suit, with a polka dot tie.  The song suits his need to smile. He has a reasonable range and I think he’s hitting all the notes. Oops, except that one. What happened at the end is best not spoken of again.

Next up is a Louis Armstrong song “What a Wonderful World.” It’s pretty good. It’s not like the original, and not better either. I love the original. I always think of Good Morning, Vietnam when I hear this song, and it should be kind of bittersweet. I think that's part of what would take the song to a higher level - to understand the connotations that have become wrapped up with it, and which I think may have always been there. But is this song technically "Big Band?" I mean just cuz Mr Armstrong did it? Well, more than half of them end up choosing non-Big Band era songs to give the Ole Big Band Treatment, so why quibble?

As always George hits a weird note near the end. Meh. It was okay. But nothing spectacularrr.

Randy says it was “good” but “safe.” He wanted a high note. Well, find another singer.  Paula was enchanted. Her mic is hooked up weird and she sounds like she's talking from down in a well.  Don't I wish.  Enchanted indeed. Simon agrees with Randy. You could hear this kind of performance on a medium-sized cruise liner. Yeah, not on a big liner, just a medium sized one.

Oh criminy, will someone slap Paula? She rambles, mumbles and nobody interrupts. But when Simon talks, Paula acts like it’s her duty to argue with him and take up his turn with more of her "thoughts." Since he's the only one who consistently offers something meaningful about the performances, I just wish she'd shut her trap and let him have his turn.

LaToya London starts with “Too Close for Comfort.” She’s in a salmon, knee length halter dress. Big dream-catcher earrings.  Bad lighting choices are being made. On the skirt of the dress are some kind of rhinestones posing as ornamentation. I'm finding I'm looking at her thighs alot. Just noticing them. It's kind of distracting...

As for the singing, she’s kind of shouting instead of singing. Never heard this song or heard of it. It’s okay but it's not fabulous. I'm disappointed because I thought THIS week would be the week I'd be wowed by LaToya. Oh well. I'm beginning to think I'll never be wowed again (like I was in the auditions.)

In her interlude, she screws up saying Natalie Cole's name. I think she wanted to say, Natalie King Cole. Finally she moves forward with her speech. She loves that song. And now here's a song she doesn't love (I guess) from Broadway show "Funny Girl." I don't know what it's called.

She delivers the song, it was a good choice for her voice. I'm just not a fan. I see how people like her, but she doesn't enthrall me. Sorry, fans of LaToya. She gets 2 out of 3 judges giving Standing O’s.

Randy loves her, this is the kind of music she was meant to sing. This is her personality. Here's your box, LaToya. Good luck next week.  Paula shines a light: she could put out an album just of this stuff and sell millions. She has won her gold.  Simon gives 10 out of 10 for a very good Broadway performance. And as we know, he doesn’t want to see “Broadway.” So that's not as much of a compliment as it sounds, if you just tuned in.

As we go for yet another break, I ponder the utter boringness. This could have been great, there are great songs in this genre, and plenty of songs that can be made to qualify for the genre. And yet, it's not great. I'm sitting here bored out of my gourd.

When I heard it was Big Band, my first reaction was yecch. Then I saw song lists and stupidly got my hopes up. Now that we’re 3/5 of the way thru, I’m feeling bleah. Not yecch, it's true but in some ways, "bleah" is worse. I'm bored.

I would not pay money for this music performed by these people. Not a single one so far. Maybe they’re getting tired, or maybe I am, but when the reel played at the beginning with the original artists, I got excited and hopeful. Now, I know the truth and I'm not hopeful any longer. Sigh.

Jasmine Trias does “The Way You Look Tonight.” She’s in a lime shirt with jeans and she's seated. She has a lime flower in her hair and earrings that move too much. Her voice is sweet. She stands up so we can see she has chains criss-crossing the front of her lap. The outfit is all wrong for the genre.

The singing is sweet but she hits some weird notes at the end.

After babbling at the audience unmemorably, she introduces her next song. It's a Lerner & Lowe classic, “It’s Almost Like Being in Love.”  Hey this was done by someone in the auditions, wasn’ it? Was it LaToya or Fantasia? Whoever, I really liked it then.

Jasmine is sweet but she’s got to go. Her mom looks less than enthusiastic applauding in the audience. I think even she knows that her daughter is out of her league here.

Randy says it was very good, aiiight. He wasn’t wowed. Paula enjoyed the 2nd performance. Simon thinks she’s been consistent. Predictable. Very pleasant isn’t good enough at this stage of the competition. I agree.

Randy & Simon are gonna go up and sing? Yeah, right. Maybe next week.  My last hope to be wowed, coming up after the break. She’s done it before, and I hope she can do it again cuz at the moment, I’m seriously considering throwing in the towel on watching this show. Oh, but next week is Disco.

Yeah?

Oh.

Why don’t we have a gas oven in our house? I'm kidding. Disco week should totally be just awesome.

Now I'm really kidding. I have no expectations or hopes. I shall simply watch, and report.

Fantasia Barrino selects a Queen classic. “Crazy Little Thing Called Love” and she's going to "Big Band" it up. Oh. Okay. Sure. Why not? How about Big Banding some Metallica, too, while we're at it here.

She is in a dark suit, with a sleeveless top and pants. Pearls. She looks dressy, much better than Jasmine, actually even better than LaToya. And this outfit hides her stick legs. During the performance, I wasn't aware of what was being hidden. I had to really think and compare the outfits in my mind. Listen up, Diana - you need to pick outfits that make you look good.

Fantasia sounds good. It's not her best, but it's intriguing. I like Fantasia again and I'm glad. She has good range and usually manages to interest me in the song. There was a bit of screechy yelling at the end but I'll forgive it. In her chit-chat, she dedicates that first song to her brother? Um, er, ah. Well, well. Oooookay.

2nd song is some Barbara Streisand number called  “What Are You Doing The Rest of My Life” or something. It was nice but it isn't one of my favorite Fantasia performances. I don't believe I even have anything remotely like a favorite Streisand song.

For me, the difference between LaToya and Fantasia is one is almost always note-perfect, while the other will take chances and really try to project real emotion. It doesn't always work, but when it has, it's been awesome. This was a good set for Fantasia, even if the numbers weren't technically Big Band.  At this point, her CD is the only one I'm seriously considering buying. I enjoy her voice and I look forward to hearing new songs.

Randy says she’s absolutely brilliant. Subdued Fantasia but he loved it. Paula is in tears cuz it was beautiful. Simon says it’s so clear to him that Fantasia and LaToya are in a different league.

Bottom 3, if indeed three they pull, should be Diana, George and Jasmine. Diana should be sent back to "safety" and Jasmine should be going.

None of those three leaving would surprise me. I would just like to see Diana have another chance or two. She is 3rd best in my view.

It's starting to look like LaToya is going to be the winner. She has a strong fanbase who love her performances, while Fantasia & Diana both have much smaller fanbases. So, seeing as how this IS a popularity contest, and at least LaToya does sing well, she seems likeliest as winner.

I hope she delivers one song during the next few weeks that wows me. I'm not holding my breath, though.

And I'm still rooting for Fantasia to win. My ideal Final 2 would be Fantasia v. Diana, but I recognize LaToya's popularity so that isn't likely to happen.

Thanks for reading.