AI3 Final Two Performances

Previously, Jasmine was sent home. Thank you voters. I really didn’t have any doubt that she would be.

Ryan tells us they’re in the Kodak Theatre for these two final nights. Fans whoop it up because fans whoop it up for anything. Four hours of voting. Whoop! Whoop! The judges are introduced:

Simon has a special tight shirt.

Paula has a special tight smile.

Dawg has a special loose brain.

Fantasia & Diana come onstage to a lot of whooping. Yay! My two favorites :D  Oh god, Ryan’s chitchat costs me a brain cell to hear it. Fantasia won the coin toss and elects to let Diana go first. Smart move.

They will perform two songs of their choosing and a song co-written by Tamyra, “I Believe.”

First, we review the journeys. Ryan only covers the earliest events. Diana’s audition was powerful and I’m awed again by her early promise and strong voice. Simon told her he didn’t like her cutesy routine and she promised to work on it.

All three judges babble about Diana. Dawg talks of her eye of the tiger. Paula says something intelligent and I miss it, intent as I am on listening to Diana in the background. We hear snippets of the awesome songs she’s done.

Enough filler. Let’s have some singing!

Diana’s 1st performance is Tamyra’s “I Believe.” She’s wearing a black top and multi-colored knee-length skirt. We view it from below stage-level and her legs look stumpy, like she hasn't done enough knee bends to beef up those calves. She should do some Huff Dipping!  The camera doesn’t return to that angle again for which we should all be grateful.

Diana is a great singer but the song is boring me. Who is this Tamyra and why does she think she can write (or rather, co-write) songs? I’ve heard the Making My Dreams Come True sentiment 100,000 times. Did we relly need it for the 100,001st time? So I go back to looking at Diana’s figure. Either she’s in a girdle or she’s lost some weight. She is looking good tonight. But only from certain angles.

The choir joins her and the music swells and she’s shouting a wee bit. Then she goes quiet again. I’m kind of listening to the mechanics of the production of the song, rather than the song itself. Yawn, it sure is a long song.  She has managed to make the schlock sound slightly more interesting than it is. But it's still schlock. Finally it is over. Yay. Blech on the song, pretty good singing Diana.

Critics. Randy babbles, Paula feels like a proud parent and gives props for the look and the stunning performance. Simon says she sang it well, but takes issue with how many lakes and mountains she’s swum and hiked. Oh please, spare me from Simon’s overblown sense of self-importance. She was forced to sing this song, Simon. You can’t criticize her for the lyrics of a song as if she’d chosen it for herself. That’s just bad judgemanship.  I guess Simon’s thick skull isn’t computing this important distinction. She did her best with a song she was Forced To Perform. Ryan gives all Diana’s numbers.

Fantasia’s first performance is prefaced with her journey to reach the Final 12. Audition with “Proud Mary” plays for a moment. She made Simon laugh with her comment, “My lips are big but my talent is bigger.” We see a tidbit of “Signed Sealed Delivered.” And remember when Simon thanked god because she was still in the competition? Remember when Randy gave her props for the single best AI performance in any season ever, anywhere? Well, now you’ll remember.

Her first selection is something new, but it sucks. It is “All My Life" originally sung by K-Ci and JoJo from Jodeci. Thanks to Miss Marcy at RTVT for knowing that. It’s a quieter song than Diana’s, and Fantasia gets a choir to help out with the singing. We get a big ole pile of “yeah, yeahs.”  I can’t claim to have missed that heapin’ helpin’. 

The choir seems to be carrying the song. Well, not EVERYthing Fantasia touches turns to gold.  It gets loud for a bit. It seems a shorter song. The audience cheering is less enthusiastic than for Diana. Let’s see, what else can I talk about? Oh yes, the outfit – black strapless top and a short skirt that also showed off her legs, which I may have mentioned are not her best feature. Wear pants, girls.

Critics. Randy … loves the song? Is he on something? Paula says Fantasia's brilliant cuz she’s taken a mediocre song and made it shout from the wind. Paula’s prattle makes my eyes cross. But I like that she called it a mediocre song. Heh. Simon thinks it’s lucky she’s singing more than once tonight. He thought it was a complete mess. Indeed. That is what it was.

For Diana’s second performance, she has changed into a white sparkly top and black pants and is reprising “No More Tears.” It’s pretty good but not as awesome as the last time I heard it. She’s competent but it’s funny how after all these weeks of being unaware of her age, something about how she looks tonight – her hair or her smile but something -  makes me more conscious that she's 16 and should be singing about boys.  I mean, I’m noticing the lyrics and that she’s singing about “a man” who’s been “like so many men before” and it feels weird. Mr. AMAI wonders why she didn’t go with a pop song, something upbeat, something a little more age- and experience-appropriate. Good thinking, hon.

Critics. Randy said she came to win and sang her face off. Paula clapped her hands and chirped.  Simon didn’t like the dancing but agrees with Randy that she’s come to win.

Fantasia’s second song choice is also a reprise of her best, “Summertime.”  She’s seated on the floor of the stage again, but this time in a distractingly hot pink dress. It seems too garish and freaky party girl. The result for me is I find I’m trying not to look at her, which isn’t good, because a lot of her ability to sell the song is through the emotions she projects. So bad dress for this song. If she were doing something upbeat, it would be great.

The song is pretty good, but not as awesomely good as the first time I heard her do it. I notice more 'yeah yeahs' this time and they jar. I’m disappointed that my socks are still on.

Seriously, it’s disappointing because we’ve had 4 of our 6 songs and I’m feeling “meh.” My two favorites! How could you let me down?? I was hoping for a great night and I’m not getting it. Am I too demanding? Am I that difficult to please?

Critics. Randy says yo yo, babble babble. Paula says Fantasia will never bore the audience because she is always reinventing herself, never just settling to recreate herself. Can we have a new judge next season? I’m sick of Paula’s cutesy routines.  Simon takes the opportunity to say, “You’re the best contestant we’ve had in any competition.” They’re troweling on the praise like it’s early spring and the crops need their manure.

Diana’s 3rd song is “Don’t Cry Out Loud.” Another encore performance. Sigh. SIGH. She’s added a jacket to her sparkly top and black pants ensemble. It’s an okay performance. There was a bit of a hiccup at the beginning but she got past it and did an okay performance. But only okay.

Critics.  Randy blah, Paula blah blah. When I focus on what they’re harping on about, I realize it’s that hiccup, that something that went wrong for 2 seconds at the beginning. They have nothing to say and they’re saying it. Simon blasts her, saying he doesn’t think she nailed the song and blew her chance to win the competition. Does he want her to win? This kind of criticism is just what galvanizes fans to vote til their fingers fall off.

Sigh. The only new song is a Tamyra song? And a pasty-faced crap Tamrya song (but then are there any other kind?) I’m not familiar with her work, and I think I’ll survive if I never remedy that situation.

Fantasia’s third performance is her turn to do the Tamyra-penned “I Believe.”  For this last song, Fantasia has changed into a lovely green dress. The color is lovely anyway. It’s kind of clingy and she doesn’t have the best figure, but never mind.

She adds some yeah yeahs to the song at some point. 

But … but… I’m actually listening. It’s like it’s a completely different song. I even check back to make sure that it has the same title as the one Diana did. Wow, Fantasia is actually selling this bleah song, where Diana didn’t (or couldn’t). I believe in her story of this song. This is a WOW performance. Phew. At least we get one Wow performance out of the evening.

She’s crying and tells Ryan she can't give her numbers. The other 10 folks from the Final 12 are on their feet, cheering in the audience. In fact, we’ve been seeing them throughout the night but it’s just not about them tonight. 

Critics. The judges go nuts, as usual. Simon tells her that the song was her acceptance speech. He’s pushing his favorite just a wee bit, eh? I missed the babble of the other two, but I can imagine what they said. Randy: Yo yo dawg, dude. Paula: You take me out of the window and into the great blue divide.

Final Filler.  Paul Anka comes out to do “My Way" for no other reason than there are  3-4 minutes that need filling. What better way than with a jokester? Oy vey – less said about his pile o’ crap the better. Oh all right. I have to admit I did laugh at some of it. But I did not transcribe it. If you saw it and you're willing to admit you laughed, then you don't need me to tell you. And if you missed it, well, on balance you're fortunate. It was only funny in an "I'm embarassed for us all" kind of way.

Discussion.  So, what went wrong? Was it nerves? Having to do the same song? Choosing to reprise songs? Just tired and running out of steam after a long & grueling competition? A bit of all of that?

The problems tonight for Diana were:

1. She didn’t connect properly with the Tamyra song, losing that head-to-head battle to Fantasia.

2. She didn’t do at least one fun, age-appropriate song. The “No More Tears” song would have been better left out in favor of something that really fit her age and level of experience.

The problems for Fantasia were:

1. The first song had way too many “yeah yeahs” and was generally a poor choice.

2. The outfit for “Summertime” was distracting.

The pluses are bound up in a whole season’s worth of great performances for each of them. As much as whatever voters liked or disliked about tonight’s performances, I think that the catalogue, the promise and personal favoritism will come into play just as much when they are deciding whom to support with their phoning and textmessaging. I don't know which of these two will be crowned this season's American Idol.

All in all, I think the vote will be close. Or should be. Diana had 3 strong performances, yet none of them stand out as great or awesome or WOW. Fantasia had one WOW, one Pretty Good and one Bleah. So it’s as close to a tie as I’ve ever seen. I’d like to see Fantasia win but I wouldn't be desperately unhappy if Diana won. I just hope that no matter what, they both put out good CDs.

  

Thanks for reading. It’s been a hell of a season.